How do I prepare for adult life
Psychology: how can I educate myself?
Let us now take a very banal example where it is less about values and more about simple behaviors. For example, I would like to educate myself so that I don't have an fit of rage every time just because I have to make my sales tax return. To teach me patience and a moderate mind, my parents failed.
The good thing is that you've already reflected on it. They have a critical distance from their impatience and low tolerance for frustration. For insight we need distance. We create it through our intellectuality. Specifically related to their problem, psychologists say: frustration brings aggression. There is nothing they like about doing this tax thing, it seems superfluous, they are frustrated. The aggression builds up, the pressure increases, then the lid flies off the pot. It's nice that you have feelings and that you let them out, that's actually something very lively and healthy! But if you want to get rid of it, you have to work with the principle of reward. We do not learn without a reward. Whether you reward yourself with something material after a difficult task or simply by consciously being proud of yourself and drinking a nice cup of tea and listening to good music. Reward yourself right after you clear the tax. That will lower your frustration. And at some point the tax matter will no longer bother you much, because you know that something nice is waiting for you afterwards. And then it's worth it. You have to outsmart yourself.
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