Ignore a way of parting

Ignoring Ex - What It Brings You

For the most part, it's pretty complicated. You have no idea how to behave towards your ex-partner.

Sometimes you would like to call and talk to him or her every day. On other days, you don't want to know anything about your ex and just ignore him or her.

But does that really help and what is the meaning behind the "ignore ex"? This post should give you some information about it.

You will know:

  • Whether ignoring the ex is a good idea.
  • In what situations the ex can help you ignore.
  • Why it annoys you when your ex ignores you.

After this post you will:

  • Learned more about the human psyche.
  • Be able to better assess your own feelings.
  • Know why you can sometimes achieve more with ignorance.

Ignoring Ex - The Psychology Behind It

After a breakup, distance is the best way to manage your feelings. By ignoring your ex, you can create that distance.

But that's not always easy. After all, the ex was part of your life for a very long time. But if you really pull it off, it also has unimagined benefits.

If you ignore your ex, you should be clear about what you can do with it. Ignoring someone is a tried and tested psychological tool, the "ex ignore psychology" so to speak.

You create a certain "missing" feeling

If your ex has left you and doesn't want to know anything about you anymore, then you want to feel his / her closeness and love all the more. What one cannot have is always interesting and worth striving for.

You can also trigger this reaction in your ex by simply ignoring him / her.

If you cut off completely, your ex could start missing you too. Of course, this must not be done on a whim, but has to have a special occasion. For example after a meeting or an argument.

By breaking contact on your part, your ex will think more about you. This is how you land in his / her head by just doing nothing. That is the meaning behind the "ignore ex".

You show your ex that you are independent and free

By not chasing after him / her and getting on with your own life, that throws a completely different light on you in the eyes of your ex. Can you get along without your ex? Actually impossible.

But by ignoring your ex, you are proving that it is possible. Your ex will be more concerned and may be a little bit freaked out.

Because if you demonstrate your independence, it only shows that you no longer need him / her. You arouse his / her curiosity about you and appear attractive to your ex again.

You make it clear that you will not put up with everything

Did your ex hurt you a lot or treat you like a toy? Then it's time to show him / her that he / she can't do this to you! To do this, it is necessary to ignore him / her.

In order to show your ex that you find his / her behavior absolutely unacceptable, you sometimes have no other means than to ignore him / her, because words alone are simply not enough.

Your ex will quickly realize that he / she has behaved wrongly and will correct his / her behavior.

You draw your line

If talking alone doesn't help anymore, then you just have to ignore your ex. He / she has to realize that a point has been reached where you clearly say stop.

Either your ex will backtrack and apologize to you, or he / she will never learn. There are people like that too.

When does it make sense to ignore the ex?

Sometimes it is a last resort to show your ex that he / she is wrong. Then ignoring the ex is the best thing you can do.

1. If you have been betrayed by him / her

Nothing is worse than being cheated on by your partner. This gives you the feeling that you are no longer worth anything to him / her and that you can simply be exchanged.

If you then ignore your ex, it clearly shows me / her that you think cheating is absolutely not okay.

Do you want to know why men in particular cheat? Then read the article: Why Men Cheat.

2. When he / she has left you because he / she no longer loves you

If your ex has no more feelings for you, the separation is actually inevitable and you should accept it too.

However, if your ex lied to you for weeks or never really loved you, then you have every right in the world to be angry and disappointed.

The best way to show this is to ignore your ex. You do it so that he / she feels guilty and apologizes appropriately for his / her wrongdoing.

3. He / she won't leave you alone

Your ex keeps calling you, texting you, standing in front of your door unannounced and texting you at every party? This can not only be an ex, but also people you have met that way.

The first thing to do is to make it clear to this person that you feel annoyed and want your peace and quiet. If that doesn't work, the only final consequence is ignoring.

4. You need time and rest

Especially after a breakup, distance is a good way to organize feelings and come back to yourself.

Constant messages from the ex are not helpful, they make the situation worse. Ignoring him / her gives you the necessary distance you need.

5. When your ex has a new partner

Does your ex have a new relationship right after the breakup? Then it is necessary for you to ignore him / her in order not to get hurt. Especially if you still have feelings for your ex.

When should you definitely not ignore him or her?

Ignoring is not always the right answer. In fact, there are times when it is completely wrong to ignore your ex.

1. You are to blame for the breakup

Basically, you wanted the breakup. But somehow you seem to regret what happened between you.

Maybe you didn't behave correctly towards him / her. Ignoring him / her now brings absolutely nothing, only more problems and hurt feelings.

Even if you don't want to get back together with me / her, you should part on good terms. Find the conversation. It will help both of you to process the breakup better.

2. When you want him / her back

If you separated in an argument, but still have feelings for each other, then ignoring is not helpful. Instead, you should pull out all the stops and pull out all the stops to get you two back together.

Talking is the better way in this case too. Talk about your feelings honestly and clearly. If they feel the same way, a second chance is very likely.

Find out in this video how you can win your ex back in a short time.

3. When you have hurt him / her very much

Have you abused his / her trust, lied to or even cheated on your ex? Then please stop ignoring him / her. Because nothing will improve as a result. Not even your guilty conscience.

Go there and seek the conversation, apologize. That is the least. Everyone makes mistakes and there are times when they hurt the very ones they love. But then you have to admit your mistakes.

Find out how you can regain the trust of your ex partner. More on this in the article: Regaining trust - that's how you can do it.

What if the ex ignores me?

“My ex is ignoring me!” That hits you more than it should, right? Your ex has been buzzing around in your head since you went into radio silence.

You now know that this method is often used when your ex wants you back, you get on your ex's nerves too much or he / she wants to punish you for certain behavior.

Think for a moment. What exactly might apply to your situation?

  • Did you contact him / her more often than you should (i.e. every free minute)?
  • Did you possibly do or say something that could have hurt your ex?
  • Is your ex trying to win you back that way?
  • Or is your ex back in a happy relationship?

Depending on which of these reasons apply to you, you can act accordingly.

If you've contacted your ex too often ...

... Then you'd better stop doing it right away. The more you get in touch, the more your ex doesn't want to know anything more about you. Rather give him / her the space he / she needs.

If you said or did something that hurt your ex ...

... Then seek the conversation and apologize appropriately. There should be no tension between you. That leads to nothing, just anger and pain on both sides.

If your ex wants to win you back ...

... Then it depends on whether you still have feelings and want him / her back. If so, take the first step. Just try to get in touch with him / her. You will see how the reaction is.

If your ex is in a happy relationship ...

... Then he / she probably wants to break off contact with you so as not to endanger his / her new relationship.

You have to accept that for better or for worse, whether you like it or not. Because if you give him / her a choice, he / she will choose his / her new one.

Ignore Ex - the bottom line

Some situations require you to ignore your ex. Be it because you want to gain some distance or because he / she behaved wrongly towards you. In any case, ignoring the ex always has a reason.

However, you should think carefully about your motives. Because ignoring yours will definitely get you a reaction.

However, no one can say with certainty whether it will turn out the way you want it to. You have to find out for yourself - with the help of the great tips you can do it very easily.

Our cooperation partner Dr. Judith Gastner works as a couple counselor, psychotherapist and coach in her own practice in Munich. Together with the relationship expert Prof. Dr. Ludwig Schindler developed the scientifically based online program PaarBalance.de - an effective coaching for everyone who wants to solve relationship problems and strengthen their love.