Why do most people dislike serious people
These 3 simple reasons explain why some people stay single forever
A lid fits on every pot - at least that's what they say. Many people who have difficulty finding a partner then cynically refer to themselves as a “wok”.
They'd rather seek a suitable phrase for their single existence than a serious explanation.
Author, blogger and entrepreneur Mark Manson deals with love and relationships on his website. And he claims to know why some people find it difficult to find a partner.
We have collected for you the three most common reasons why, in his opinion, some people remain eternal singles.
1. You don't respect yourself
It sounds banal, but it really is like this: "The respect and admiration you get from others is proportional to the respect you have for yourself."
Try the following for a month, advises Manson: “Take care of yourself. Exercise and eat healthy. Sleep well. Work hard and plan ahead. Be social. Eliminate bad habits. ”Learn to respect and accept yourself.
When it comes to dating, those singles who disrespect themselves tend to look at the world from a ranking and competitive perspective, Manson said. Instead, one should assume compatibility and incompatibility when looking for a partner. If you're turned away, it's not because you lost to someone and did badly - but because you are simply incompatible with that person.
2. You have unrealistic expectations
According to Manson, there are two common stereotypes in the dating world these days:
On the one hand there is the man who is fat, bald, underpaid, antisocial and unsanitary, has Star Wars characters in his apartment and reads mangas and watches porn on the weekend. Still, he wonders why no woman likes him. He concludes that women all over the world have a problem.
On the other hand, there is the elegant, beautiful, about 30-year-old career woman who wants to settle down. And even though a number of men are interested in her, she complains that "there are no good men out there."
So the cliché is: The man thinks he can date anyone, even though he has no qualities. The woman has these qualities, but has far too high demands. Both have completely unrealistic ideas about a relationship.
Of course, it's stereotypes. But these ideas would come in different shapes and forms in real life.
Manson gives an example: he once had a boyfriend who broke up with his girlfriend because he didn't like her taste in films. "There are people who assume that any kind of disagreement or argument is a sign of a mismatch, so end it."
It is actually quite simple: we are not perfect. And neither are the people we are dating. Singles with absurdly high expectations have to learn to appreciate other people with their mistakes and to admit their own flaws. "Otherwise you will be single (and angry) for a very long time."
3. You are incapable of building intimacy
Some people have a natural talent for dating. They look good, are attentive, laugh at the right moments, talk about their life, career and dreams - and yet it never goes beyond the first date.
This is because these people, while superficially behaving correctly on dates, cannot build a deep emotion or connection.
“Building intimacy and familiarity in a relationship requires an emotional investment and vulnerability. That means that you have to open up in a way in which you feel uncomfortable. ”This could be, for example, expressing an opinion that many people do not like. You have to be brave and take a risk.
Intimacy only arises when you open up to one another. Those who are not ready for such an exchange will not be able to have a serious relationship.
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