Why do people like to hear each other talk
When colleagues like to hear themselves talk
You lead monologues and do not let others have their say. The frequent speakers seem to only listen to one person and that is their own. It would be better if they would stand in front of the mirror and let go of their speeches there. This would at least save the nerves of the colleagues.
Nobody wants to sit next to Sven and in the canteen everyone tries desperately to occupy the chair next to them. In the office, too, you quickly bury yourself behind files and folders as soon as Sven approaches. Not to mention the company outings, where he is usually pushed back as the bottom of the pack. Sven is one of those who talk a lot, one of the monologues, who speaks without periods, commas and pauses and does not give the other person a chance to take the floor. Not only is this annoying, it also steals a lot of energy.
Are the Chatty Narcissists?
At first glance, chatty colleagues seem like narcissists. You just want to clarify something briefly and the stage seems to be free for the frequent speaker. He presents himself, knows everything better and you stand like a doused poodle under the torrent of speech. People who like to hear themselves talk don't have to be narcissists. Sometimes they try to cover up their insecurity with their fluency. It is also possible that people who talk a lot started talking too much because they used to get too little attention. Instead of sitting quietly in the corner and remaining unnoticed, they have decided to literally nail down their fellow human beings with “big” speeches. Often they come from stick to stick and they could save most of the pronounced sentences.
These chatter lines mostly subconsciously have the feeling that they are not understood. So at some point they started to explain in detail what they think, mean and what else is floating around in their heads.
No matter how great the understanding for these people, it doesn't change the fact that you want to scream out loud or develop terrifying fantasies in order to finally escape the torrent of words.
How can such frequent speakers be stopped?
The simplest and most direct variant would be to say loudly and clearly to such colleagues: "Shut up and listen to what I have to say!" the colleague probably won't say anything more and thus keep important information to himself. Who wouldn't be offended after such an announcement? So there must be other and better methods to escape the clutches of the monologue lover.
If you make yourself aware that your colleague, who talk a lot, feels misunderstood, humor can stop the flow of speech: “Hi there, I understand you and you can finish your explanations!”. This sentence should be pronounced loosely and with a smile. The frequent speaker will certainly look puzzled, but he will recognize the comedy by the smile or laugh and hopefully laugh along with you. But there are also those who talk a lot without humor and the following tips are helpful for dealing with these colleagues:
- Let yourself be heard and during the first respite (which is usually very short, so be careful!), You cut yourself off.
- If the frequent speaker continues: do the same. Just keep talking as if your colleague was listening. Note: He's not listening. A characteristic of the talkative is that they do not listen. The good thing about it: You can just talk about anything until your colleague is quiet.
- Now the focus is on the topic that was originally about.
- Briefly and succinctly say what there is to say on the topic and then end the conversation in a friendly and very determined manner.
This termination of the conversation can and should be clear. For example: "Now I have no more time and get back to work!" - turn around and go. If that is not done, the frequent speaker is guaranteed to find a point again to start a flow of speech again.
Another way to stop the monologue is to signal boredom. Even that is not the friendliest tactic, but some frequent talkers understand it no differently. So you could yawn all the time, play with your smartphone, keep looking at your watch or pretending to close your eyes. The frequent speaker is not looked in the eye, because that would show interest in his speech.
Further information on the topic:
When the colleague asks me about my salary
When the colleague is sick again
I found out that my colleague deserves more, and now?
For these reasons, your colleague will never let you finish!
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