How trusting you are

Are you too trusting in dealing with others?

It is entirely possible that you are too trusting with others, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't trust other people. The real culprits are the people who make you believe that you can trust them even though they are deliberately deceiving or lying to you. Trust is something very valuable and fragile. Unfortunately, not all people see it that way.

Last update: 02 August, 2019

Has anyone ever told you that you are too trusting? Many people believe that trusting others is not good. But the other really justifies telling yourself that you are “naive” because you are human trustful encounter? Certainly not always.

Basically, it is good if you trust and expect the same from those around you. Ultimately, it is the people who lie to others and exploit them for their own purposes who should be ashamed.

Lao Tzu said that those who cannot sincerely trust do not deserve other people's trust either. A certain amount of trust is necessary if you want to get by in our world.

Without believing in other people, you would permanently live in fear and insecurity. If you don't trust them at all, then you could no longer get behind the wheel of your car, use public transport, or even take your children to school.

Our society, culture and our whole civilization are based on the principle of mutual trust. Although we usually take this for granted, it forms the basis of our life together. This allows us to get along with other people and lose our fears and insecurities in relationships. Ultimately, trust is something we should give with closed eyes and an open heart.

But that's exactly why it's so painful when you then have a negative experience because you were too trusting.

On the one hand you have to deal with your disappointment yourself and on the other hand you may start to doubt yourself and your decisions. You might ask yourself questions like, "Was I too naive?" "Did I get the sand in my eyes?" "Should I have been more cynical?"

"You have to trust people and believe in them, otherwise life will be impossible."

-Anton Chekhov-

Living with confidence: the power of feelings

The word “trust” is one of the most beautiful words there is. Because we are describing people's ability to build relationships with others that are based on security and mutual affection. At the same time, trust always involves an action. You have the courage to build relationships with other people who are free from fear or reservations.

There is some very interesting research on the subject of trust in our society. Joe Bavonese, a psychologist with the Relationship Institute in Royal Oak, Michigan, USA, found that people have become less trusting over the past decade.

One of the reasons for this phenomenon is the rapid technological development in recent years. The new technologies give us access to an enormous amount of information. We can also get in touch with a lot more people. However, you should keep in mind that these interactions are not always as trustworthy as they may initially appear.

We also live in a very fast-moving time with a lot of uncertainties. This also changes our interpersonal relationships.

Our lives are becoming increasingly unstable in economic, social and political terms. So it makes perfect sense if we become a little more mindful and careful. At the same time, there are still very many people who seem too trustworthy. But what exactly does that mean? Where and how exactly should you set your own limits?

Emotional and cognitive trust

When you build trust, it happens on two different levels:

  • First and foremost is the emotional trust that is based on our feelings. It's an intuitive feeling that tells you that you can trust someone or something. Your heart tells you it's right and you feel good about it overall.
  • The second level is cognitive confidence.In doing so, you expand the feeling that you have already developed through emotional trust through logical judgment, thoughts and beliefs. This approach is far more objective and pragmatic, as you also consider the reasons why you should or shouldn't trust someone.

Jennifer Dunn of the University of Los Angeles found that People who are too trusting often focus too much on the emotional level of trust. Your personal feelings don't always reflect reality. Perhaps you are limiting yourself too much to your emotions and are no longer able to take the objective factors sufficiently into account.

In fact, you can never be too trusting

So you see, it is almost never a mistake to trust other people. Always remember that your brain is a social organ. It helps you team up with and build relationships with other people that can be critical to your survival. This is why it is so traumatic for us when we are disappointed, cheated or lied to.

However, there are some situations in which we should still be careful and not overly trusting. Let us now take a closer look at these.

When you ignore previous experience

After a person has disappointed you several times, you should no longer give him your full trust.

Your experience is the best advisor. Therefore, if you make a mistake, you shouldn't be too strict with yourself. Our life is made up of many mistakes that we make and sometimes we trust the wrong people. However, you can also learn from these situations. Think about what led you to mistakenly trust this person. In this way you can protect yourself from it in the future and will not make the same mistake over and over again.

When you've forgotten the importance of being picky about your relationships

Sometimes you endanger yourself if you are too trusting. Therefore, you should be very picky and careful when choosing your friends and your partner.

To make this easier for you, you can use the following three principles of trust as a guide:

  • Trust means that you know that you deserve and will receive support when you need it or ask for it.
  • Trust also means that you can share your thoughts and feelings with others without being judged or betrayed for them.
  • Also, trust is knowing that the other person will not harm you.

In summary, we can say that we must all be able to trust other people. Without this daily mutual support, our life would be far too difficult.

Therefore, it is best if you make an effort to live in a way that other people can trust you. At the same time, you should also make sure that the people you trust deserve it.

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