What moral are you

How to be sure that you are ready for a relationship

Dating: one of the most confusing topics in the world these days. Why should you date? When should you date? How should you date?

A large part of our society treats beginning relationships like a nomad's journey: with no real start or end point. Instead, it is about appetite, lust and feelings that lead to senseless hustle and bustle. And that's why such relationships often leave those involved in worse shape. It doesn't have to go that way though!

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF PROACTIVELY

We all feel the need to let the beauty of a relationship unfold itself and that sounds very romantic, but it's not realistic and it's not healthy either. Imagine climbing Half Dome in Yosemite National Park (a rocky high mountain for experienced climbers) with some friends, but none of you have ever climbed before. Long before you reach the base of the summit, there are a number of things that you must be aware of in order to guarantee that you have the adventure of a lifetime. Without really good planning and preparation, what turned out to be a huge success could turn into a rocky nightmare. So, by properly preparing for this adventure beforehand, you will be able to enjoy the thrill of the climb.

Beginning relationships can be compared to climbing - they require planning and preparation so that both people can enjoy the trip. So before you even take a step towards a relationship, you should sit down and deal with a few questions:

Am i really ready for a relationship? How do I know that I am ready? Is the person I'm meeting ready for this too?

There is no point in being in a relationship that either of you, or even the two of you, are not ready for.

ARE YOU READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP?

"Okay," you ask yourself, "how do I know that I'm really ready for a romantic relationship?" You are ready for a relationship when you can be of benefit to the other person no matter how the relationship turns out.

I'll talk to you men for a moment now: Think about what your relationship would be like if you were to carry out God's own daughter. If you're just a little bit like me ... there's nothing I would do that could ever harm her. Rather, I would make sure that she would feel special, valued, and protected if she were with me.

And now to you ladies: The same goes for you when you meet a Son of God. You need to make sure that your actions and involvement create a sense of security and appreciation in him, whether or not the relationship lasts.

This means you need to be emotionally mature and healthy before dating and in a relationship with someone, and you do this by taking care of your affairs and problems first before focusing on someone else. There is no shame in realizing that you have a few fights to fight in person before you can move on. You should keep in mind that in a relationship, any small crack in your foundation enlarges and becomes exposed through the pressure of another person who is on the foundation of your life.

WHAT IF THERE ARE CRACKS IN YOUR FOUNDATION?

Again, you must be emotionally mature and healthy before you take on the weight of responsibility for another person. If you can't honestly say that you are able to be with someone and add value to that person's life, no matter what happens to the relationship, then you should take some time; in fact, you should take the time to work with a mentor or advisor on the areas that need special attention until you are certain that the cracks in your foundation have been mended.

FIRST OF ALL: KNOW WHO YOU ARE

Before you communicate to someone that you want to be in a romantic relationship with him or her, you need to know who you are: This is the composition of your identity, your beliefs, passions, longings, gifts and personality traits. Each and every one of these attributes should be carefully discovered and cherished for their true worth, for you will bring these characteristics into any relationship. The more you know yourself, the more you can share about yourself with another person and the more secure and confident you will be and act in a relationship.

SECOND: KNOW WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR

There is no perfect set of "desires" to seek in a relationship (there are evil desires that obviously shouldn't be part of our lives). However, much of what "should" be looked for in another person is determined by personal and individual preferences. Accordingly, the more you know and understand your own needs and desires, the better you will find out what you are looking for in a relationship with another person.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR? START HERE.

Your destiny will be an important factor in determining what type of person you will be with. Finding someone with the same passion and reputation can create a great partnership. Remember, you're not trying to find someone to live with - you want to find someone you don't want to live without. Couples with similar passions in life have a natural bond that takes less work to keep the relationship healthy.

Another way to find out what you want in your future partner is to spend time with married couples and watch how they interact with each other. Pay attention to the attributes you admire in them and the ones you don't like. As you find out who you are, where you are going, and what qualities you like in others, it should always be easier for you to determine what to look for.

Have a look at Jason’s new book "Emotional Prosperity: A Practical Guide to Counseling"

In this book, you will find keys to emotional health and healing in areas you thought you would never see a breakthrough. Whether you're a pastor or counselor guiding someone through an emotional process, or someone who yearns for wholeness and restoration in their own life, we are sure that it will bring a lot of freedom.

Originally published on https://www.krisvallotton.com/