How stressful was your day and why
"How was your day?" - The truth
Only today did I find myself again saying, when asked "How was your day?" Instead of the truth, simply "He was so okay". But it wasn't true. Actually I should say:
"Shit, thanks for asking. After a stressful night with a baby I-don't-sleep-longer-than-2-hour-long, an empty coffee machine in the morning, a run against the dresser in the semi-darkness and a T-shirt that was puked with breast milk right after putting on, I have Took ages to get going. Minimum could not be taken off, but only calmed down on the chest and I did not manage to eat, drink or change the smelly T-shirt before 11 o'clock. I was hungry, thirsty and needed a shower. When the minimum finally fell into the long-awaited deep sleep phase, I hopped into the shower, smeared a sandwich and devoured a banana at record speed, made myself a green tea, noted on the shopping list that coffee was missing and urgently needed to be bought, discovered that we didn't have any Have more diapers and was interrupted in my wild life by the bell of the postman. Which woke up the baby, which immediately howled again like an alarm system. End in the field. Unknowingly, I opened the door half-naked and only noticed this fact after the postman looked closely. Too late. I just said: exhausting night, not slept.
He left again. Luckily. I don't know embarrassments anymore. Feeling of shame is over when at least 5 prospective doctors observed me giving birth. From the front, of course. First row free of feet. Popcorn should have been pushed into their hands. They probably thought freely of Mr. Spock: Fascinating. At least judging by their looks. In addition, there were a few other doctors during pregnancy and when breastfeeding, there were also a good 50 people who enjoyed a nipple runabout. Much more than in my best single times ...
The baby kept screaming happily, without a break. I quickly hopped into my sweatpants, a fresh T-shirt and packed Minimum in the stretcher to go shopping for diapers with no make-up, no hairstyle and deep dark circles under the eyes that you should have taken with you. I didn't give a shit why the others stared at me so strangely, I just wanted to go back to my little cave and free my child from his stinking diaper, which has now been well filled. Unsmellable.
The breastfeeding marathon then continued at home and I spent the next few hours hungry, desperate and with a touch of sentimentality, overwhelming loneliness and the feeling of being a horrible mother on the sofa. I would have needed you to take this screaming bundle from me for 10 minutes that just couldn't be calmed down. While I was breastfeeding I kept falling asleep completely exhausted, so that Minimum lost his nipple and cried out like crazy. It was blown away.
And how was your day?"
How much truth do you really want to know?
Most of the time you don't tell your partner all day - but shouldn't it be a little more honesty? As a questioner, don't you have to somehow expect the other person to throw up when you answer this question instead of trying to maintain the appearance of the apparently “most beautiful time in life” or not to burden the partner even more? Isn't it okay to say that you have a hard time going all day without an adult and that you have the feeling that you have to somehow master every challenge on your own? Instead, it is summed up with “good” or “not so good”, perhaps supplemented with “exhausting”. But that is exactly where the problem lies: My day was full of different feelings and emotions: joy, frustration, excessive demands, helplessness, successes, defeats and embarrassments. So instead of wondering how my day was, ask me what I was happy about. That's how I at least briefly remember the positive things or even find them in the first place. Because after a shitty day like this, it's good to concentrate on the positive.
Incidentally, this also applies to children. Instead of asking them how their day in kindergarten / school was, just ask what they were most excited about, what was most interesting, what was most fun, what was a little difficult, or what they need help with. This not only creates much better conversations, but also gives you the chance to look at the day from a different perspective.
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