When does a girl start masturbating?
Masturbation in toddlers: my vagina tickles so nicely
Our Eltern.de users describe what many parents are familiar with: “My son lies down on the floor, puts his hands under his stomach and slides back and forth. That can take a few minutes and he also works up a sweat, ”says a mother with the language. Another reported worried: "My daughter is now a good 18 months old and has been doing the following for some time (the last few weeks have become more and more!): She lies down with her abdomen on certain hard objects (ball, car, bullets, etc.) and rubs it back and forth for a long time and moans, breathes heavily and appears slightly absent. "
Is that normal?
Even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes, because the topic of masturbation may cause embarrassed silence in the parents' group: It is completely normal for small children to explore their bodies sensually as well. Many children begin to rub against their penis or clitoris for the first time around the age of two. Childhood sexuality, however, does not only focus on the genitals for a long time and does not aim at a sexual climax either. Rather, toddlers experience a wide variety of sensual experiences as pleasurable and sooner or later begin to explore their body from top to bottom. They touch their stomach, their buttocks and examine their hands as naturally as their sexual organs. It is actually logical that they stay where it feels particularly good and that they repeat exactly this touch on a regular basis. While many parents would then prefer to sink into the ground, the children think nothing of it. They only satisfy their needs spontaneously, impartially and without shame - sometimes in public. Because it is only from the age of four that a feeling of shame slowly begins to develop, according to the Federal Association of Pediatricians.
How should I handle it?
Even if it may be difficult, the top priority is: stay calm and ignore any glances! So take a deep breath first. Try not to be ashamed of yourself with a red head on behalf of the child. And please, please don't scold. And don't tear the little one out of his lust with more or less force. But distraction is okay, because mothers and fathers seldom stand it when their own child creates feelings of pleasure in public. And: Children understand the hint that masturbating is something intimate that can be enjoyed better when no one is watching.
A very typical situation: Grandma or a friend is just visiting and your child starts rubbing their legs with their hands, cuddly toys or sofa pillows. The whole thing is noticeably uncomfortable for you adults and you are wondering how you should react as a mother or father? Release the tension, for example, by simply including your grandma or girlfriend in the situation - they will likely feel better too. You can explain, "Ben just discovered that it feels nice when he rubs his penis, and now he can't get enough of it."
Isn't that too uncomfortable? Then suggest your child go to their child's room and make themselves comfortable there. But still convey to him that touching the clitoris, vagina or penis is perfectly fine - just belong behind the closed children's room door.
By the way: The Federal Center for Health Education provides a number of free of charge Information brochures on child sexual development and education ready to provide parents with initial guidance on these and similar questions.
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