Why do people love the drama so much
Why you're having drama again and how you can save your relationship
Does the constant drama get on your nerves too? Either because you keep destroying your own happiness through a relationship drama or you keep getting into partners who create drama? Then it is time to recognize the problems and to rethink, if drama is not what you want from the bottom of your heart. In this article, learn how drama arises, what it wants to tell you, and how you can save your relationship.
1. Cause of drama relationships: longing for liveliness
Man loves liveliness. Liveliness is probably the deepest longing of all people. However, this can lead to a paradoxical behavior pattern in a partnership:
Let's assume you get along great. There are hardly any points of conflict. You agree and have largely the same ideas about the way in which you want to lead your life.
This equality can quickly lead to boredom. You have no emotional points of friction. Everything is just fine.
So what now?
What many have learned from their parents and the media is how to make drama. That means that we ourselves are in a perfect relationship unconsciously tend to hurt the partner and endanger the common good.
Then the longed-for feelings are finally there again, albeit painful. After that you can reconcile yourself and the vitality would be restored. But only for a certain time until we long for liveliness again and unconsciously “stage” a new relationship drama.
Saving Relationships: Learn to Open Your Heart and Really Love
If us just As drama is known as a way to be alive, we are concerned with learning an alternative path: true love.
Realize that true love doesn't need unnecessary drama. So when the longing for aliveness is there, remember that you can also get the feelings you want through loving.
Pain does not have to be generated first, otherwise you can just as easily strengthen and increase the love and joy in the relationship. You don't even need your partner for that, because love in the relationship is just a mirror for love for yourself.
True love saves every relationship.
So the way to save your relationship is: Take care of your heart opening and the ability to love and ask yourself how you can climb new heights in love together.
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2. Cause of a drama relationship: Longing for pain
The human subconscious longs to be recognized and seen so that we can become aware of it. This happens through the unconscious expression of people. Ultimately, the whole of life is nothing more than a single theater play that helps us to recognize ourselves.
If we have not come to terms with our past by now, it will have a permanent place in the direction of the daily drama. This means that all the open wounds and old injuries develop a life of their own in order to finally be recognized and felt.
You yourself long to be healed. And the first step is that we see and recognize them. So you need our loving attention.
Specifically, this means that an unhealed injury from the past does nothing more than create new injuries.
This happens until you become aware of this dynamic, you look deeper into yourself and feel through all the feelings from your past that you did not want to feel until today.
Saving Relationship: Allow Yourself to Feel Everything
If you are not feeling well and a part of you longs to create a drama, then first of all feel the pain that lies behind it. Maybe there is also a hopelessness and a despair and an anger and a fear.
It is important that you allow your feelings and feel everything yourself, without blaming your partner for it or looking for the problem with him.
It is your feelings. Your feelings that you want to be felt. Nobody else. It's just your job. Difficult as it may be. In the video course I describe how you can proceed with this, about consciously dealing with your emotions.
When a feeling is felt through, it has, so to speak, dissolved. A feeling doesn't want anything more than just to be felt, then it goes on by itself. While it isn't easy to implement, it is the easiest way to save your relationship.
For further reading
3. Cause of drama relationships: Inability to communicate emotions
The drama in relationships can also have a simpler reason. It is simply an inability to express oneself and communicate one's feelings. The only thing behind this is, of course, fear in various forms:
- The fear that the other might get angry
- The fear that your own feelings might be wrong
- The fear of hurting the other with it
Ultimately, however, it is the fear of losing your partner. Most of the time, we have simply taken over this inability from our parents, because they also did not understand how to talk about feelings.
Saving Relationships: Resolving Drama Through Nonviolent Communication
So the solution here is pretty simple: learn to communicate your feelings constructively. Burn the following rule into your brain and remember it over and over:
Do not speak of the other.
Just talk about yourself.
This means that you simply avoid the word "you" when communicating your feelings and start your sentences with "I feel ...". How non-violent communication works exactly and how you can solve conflicts with your partner in a simple and loving way in partnerships, you will find out in the book "Things I would have liked to have known when I was 21".
In my second book I described this topic in more detail. It's great for when you want to go deeper.
View all information and excerpts
This simple change in the way you communicate can save your relationship. This not only leads to deeper encounters and solidarity in love, but also between friends, family members, colleagues and in all other types of relationships.
It works without drama. If you see this pattern in yourself and sincerely wish you were treated differently, you now have enough ways to deal with it lovingly and constructively.
This does not mean that one should no longer express one's anger and outrage loudly. When it comes to your own limits, which are constantly being exceeded, this is sometimes a necessary way to finally be heard.
However, if you become aware of yourself and perceive your impulses to act, you can feel much more precisely into the motivation behind it: "What do I really want right now?"
So make yourself aware of whether you are just longing for a relationship drama or whether you really want to share yourself from the heart. This will save your relationship and it starts with loving yourself.
Does any of the drama relationships described here sound familiar to you? What are you doing to save your relationship? Tell me about your experience or ask your questions in a comment below the article.
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Much love, Elias
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Author: Elias Fischer
Hello! I work as a companion for self-realization and support people to find themselves and to really live their own life. It is my concern that you live yourself completely with everything that is inherent in you. Find out more about the exciting journey of self-knowledge and become more self-actual. // About me. Your Elias Fischer
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