When should tantrums stop?

Why do children get tantrums?

Almost all children are prone to tantrums when they are young. This is part of the normal development of a child. For the parents it is usually frightening to see how their otherwise peaceful child suddenly gets such an outburst of emotions from now on. The toddler often tends to have tantrums because he simply lacks the words to communicate with the adults. Of course, such a tantrum also relieves tension. And last but not least, the child also tests whether this is not a means to achieve his goals. And above all for this reason, it is advisable to parents to react correctly and prudently.

Can Parents Prevent Tantrums?

In theory yes, but this should not be possible in practice. If the child makes a wish and always gets it granted, there will be no tantrums. However, there is a high price to be paid for this method. The child will not accept any rules later either. We all know, however, that there is unfortunately no such thing as completely without rules in life. Whether at home, in kindergarten, at school or later at work. In all of life people have to follow some rules. And this is exactly what parents need to teach their children to do. In some cases, compromises can certainly be found and thus the child's tantrum can be prevented. You are with friends with your child and now you want to go. But the child would still like to play. If time permits, parents can compromise in this situation. The child is shown another 5-10 minutes on the clock and explains that they will then leave. You can also put an egg timer in front of small children and tell them to go when the doorbell rings. The advantage is that the child feels taken seriously and a tantrum is nipped in the bud.

How do you behave when a tantrum is inevitable?

However, the tantrum often cannot be avoided. To stick to our example. You have to go now, not in five or ten minutes. Unfortunately, the bus doesn't wait for the child to finish their game. The most important thing for parents is to stay calm. If the child is crying and writing, they don't need to do so too. It is better to explain to your child in a low voice why you have to leave now. Otherwise you will not get the bus on time. If they come home too late, there is no more time for the bedtime story, the common song or whatever ritual is normal at home. In most cases, speaking softly will accomplish more than speaking out loud. At least that way, there is a chance your child will try to listen. To do this, it has to stop screaming itself. If this doesn't work, it often helps to give the child a brief hug and reassure them: Even if you're angry now, I still love you. Always remember, these toddler tantrums are also a sign of helplessness. Most of the time, the child cannot defend himself with words. The vocabulary is simply not enough for that. An adult would enter the discussion with you, but a toddler cannot. If the child has calmed down a little now, it makes no sense to scold or anything like that. Then just go out with your child. However, if you missed the bus because of this tantrum, it is a good idea to show the child the consequences. You had announced this beforehand. So if the child's behavior makes it later, there will be no bedtime story that evening. This is actually the most important point in parenting. Everything that is threatened as a consequence should also be done. It is therefore important to think carefully beforehand which “punishment” it should be. If you threaten the child to cancel the long-awaited visit to the grandma, it can become your own punishment. We have been looking forward to the child-free weekend for a long time. Therefore, always think carefully before pronouncing the consequences. What must not happen is that a tantrum in the child is crowned with success. So, child doesn't want to go home, raging and screaming. So that the mother or father has peace and quiet, they stay a little longer. Now the child has learned that if I scream and romp I will reach my goal.

Other ways to deal with tantrums

There are certainly other ways to react when the child freaks out. Here are a few practical examples. Who does not know that the child in the supermarket really wants to have the candy. The parents say no and the child lies screaming and raging on the floor. So what to do - the other customers are already looking very interested. The best option is to react in advance. The toddler asks about the candy. The mother explains why this is not possible. Sometimes this is better than a general no. It is even better to propose alternatives. We don't need the chocolate, but when we get home I'll make you a great fruit salad. But if none of this works and the child gets angrier and angrier, just stay calm. If necessary, go stubbornly further. The child will follow you screaming and howling. People will look interested, don't be fooled. When speaking softly or hugging doesn't work, ignoring is the only thing that works. If such a tantrum happens at home, it is also a good idea to give the child a break in the nursery.


In the course of toddlerhood, you cannot completely prevent tantrums. When it comes to this, make yourself aware that your child is not doing well with it either. The most important thing is that parents stay calm in this situation. You have already achieved a lot with this. And if the child sees, despite a fit of anger, he cannot get his way, this is the step in the right direction. If there is a threat of consequences, the child will also consider the next tantrum carefully.