How do I develop a deeper friendship
Can friendship become love? 7 reasons for it!
The question of questions comes when you suddenly develop feelings for your favorite friend:
“Can friendship become love?“
We say with full conviction: Of course it can!
But is it really a good idea to give it a try? That is another topic again.
In this article you will now learn seven reasons why this "experiment”Is well worth a try - and why these relationships are often long-lasting and fulfilling.
He's just a good friend - isn't he?
Unless you're just a teenager, you've probably had someone in your life who seemed like an ideal partner to you - but you were "just”Friends. Often, the higher the quality of the friendship, the higher the negative attitude towards the idea of wanting to enter into a partnership (on both sides).
This is completely understandable, because a lot is at stake now: If the (romantic) relationship doesn't work out, you might lose one as well fantastic friendship. That can hurt too. You are practically throwing yourself into the unknown and cannot foresee how the story will end. A happy ending is only guaranteed in the film.
In addition, you have to be sure that this friend of course also feels the same and also for the possibility of a "real”Partnership is open. Here, too, you are facing extreme challenges because you will not get an answer to this question from him without immediately addressing the matter openly and immediately jeopardizing the friendly relationship.
Nevertheless: Now and then there are those moments when fate shows itself graciously and both sides have the same idea at the same moment. Then a friendship will become more - and now we will show you why this can be the right thing to do in order to have long-term successful relationships.
Seven reasons why friends are better love partners
We have written down - in our opinion - the most important reasons why the step from friend to lover can even work really well. Of course, these are by no means all the arguments that can be found for it. Still, it gives you a good idea of what to look forward to if you try a friend.
1. Stability and Security
A friendship that has existed for a year or more is usually a good indicator that you share interests, have built trust, see the world with the same eyes, treat each other honestly, and the like. These are excellent foundations for a long-term partnership built on extremely solid pillars.
In other words: If you no longer feel like having relationships that only last a few months and then break up with colliding personalities, then this can be a possibility for you or you.
At the same time, however, you must not expect that - especially at the beginning - a "typical”Partnership will result. love at first sight, Passion for the body and thoughts of the other person, a burning fire of ecstasy: all of this will probably only exist in a milder form, because you are already too familiar with one another for that.
The "butterflies in the stomach”Arise primarily through a journey into the unknown, and this time exactly that will only appear in a weakened form. But for that you enjoy an unshakable stability.
2. Quirks and habits? No problem.
In new relationships, you will probably get to know many habits in other people over the first few weeks and months that are alien to you and that may really get on your nerves.
As soon as the first time has passed with the rose-colored glasses on your nose, you will notice various quirks in your counterpart (and he will also notice these on you). This results in potential for explosives and at some point inevitably comes the first major dispute.
The chances are that you already know those little things about your partner, if one friendly relationship the base was. You know that you don't have Mr. Perfect in front of you, but a person whose flaw you have already accepted. Especially in the first phase of the new partnership, this can help a lot to relax the two parties. If you don't feel like having the scraps fly after a few months:
Give the partnership a chance with the friendship bonus.
3. The common basis of interest
If you didn't share interests (such as hobbies) with your boyfriend, you probably wouldn't be friends either. This results in invaluable advantages, especially for a partnership. In the classic relationship building process, you may meet a few times and possibly write on WhatsApp & Co. before it then "and go“.
Of course, the partner will tell you what drives him and what things and activities he is excited about. But you can only really explore all of this when you are already in love.
If the partnership develops from a friendship, you know exactly what to expect. You probably have a lot of similar hobbies, maybe you both like to sink into serious discussions about God and the world on the sofa, maybe you're big cinema fans and even share the same taste in movies. All of this is known and thus takes the uncertainty out of the new partnership.
4. Trust, trust, trust
Friendships only work if there is a certain basis of trust - and that is also the case with deeper relationships. You already know that you can rely on your boyfriend because in several months or years he has probably never let you down on a really significant level.
All of this, of course, spills over into the love affair that you will have with this person - and it is very likely that both sides will.
Because: Your friend certainly also knows what is at stake. All the trust that has built up over the years is unlikely to be jeopardized by the other person. From this you can also deduce that your friend is serious too.
He would never disappoint this trust and really kneel in, so that something long-term can emerge from the new love. This trust is probably more intense than anything you know from ordinary love relationships.
5. The little things
“You have something ...". You will be able to say this sentence much faster if you have known your friend for a long time before it sparks between you. You know whims and those little signs that indicate something is not quite right. And that's just as well.
Because then any problems that exist at the relationship level can be addressed much earlier, before the unspoken matter becomes too big and dangerous.
You already know when to approach your boyfriend and when to stay away, when to give love and attention and when to just let him go for an evening alone with his friends.
In normal relationships, it will take you a long time to correctly interpret these signals, and during that time you can do a lot wrong. This danger does not arise in friendship relationships.
6. Mutual friends are not a problem
Since your interests, views and values overlap anyway, you will have no problem making friends. In many love relationships there are friends whom the other party simply cannot stand.
This danger is contained in relationships that are based on friendship: you will only accept friends if you both like them.
In addition, you are very likely to bring your mutual group of friends into the relationship from the outset. The often somewhat forced "Get-to-know evenings“, In which you present your own circle of friends to your new friend, can be omitted. This makes for a very calm, stable entry into the relationship.
7. No need for shame
Chances are, your boyfriend knows well in advance of your relationship about what you are embarrassed about or about which you are ashamed. In fresh love relationships there is always a little worry in this area: "What if he thinks this thing about me is so horrible that he breaks up?”
If you've been very good friends before anyway, he probably knows you inside and out. He accepts that: whether it's the little flaws in your body, your mind, or the flaws from your past. You don't have to be ashamed - and that can be very liberating. So, if you have feelings for your boyfriend and are unsure whether such a relationship can work well, talk to him about it. Maybe something wonderful will come of it.
About the author
Darius Kamadeva - Relationship Expert
Darius Kamadeva is a bestselling author and the leading relationship and dating coach in Germany - especially for women. On his YouTube channel with more than 90,000 subscribers, he helps women with more than 10 years of experience to develop a happy relationship with themselves and with others. His work of accompanying women on their way to become heroines in their lives is known from TV, radio and YouTube. He offers online courses, retreats, seminars, live events, personal coaching and video content that bring women to the love of their lives.
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