Do you want to have sex again?

After birth

The first days with the newborn are a very special time. A lot of mothers (and fathers) are happy, proud or totally excited. Others are very exhausted at first and need rest. The baby also has to adapt.

Can the corona pandemic have an impact on pregnancy and the baby? What do the distance and hygiene rules mean for childbirth preparation, childbirth and the puerperium? Is a corona vaccination possible during pregnancy and breastfeeding? We have compiled information and links that can help you clarify the questions that concern you.

Research date: 05/08/2021

Information on the coronavirus SARS-CoV-2

In the days and weeks after the birth, everything is new and exciting, and there is a lot to discover and enjoy. You have time to get to know your baby well. You are sure to get a visit from dear people who greet the child and wish you luck.

Your feelings can be very intense right now. The hormones adjust again, because the pregnancy is now over. Perhaps your mood fluctuates: Sometimes you're in a good mood, then again anxious, maybe even sad and built close to the water. Such “baby blues” often appear between the third and fifth day after the birth. That’s okay. After all, it’s important to make friends with your new life as a young mother. Let your feelings run free and dare to ask your midwife or doctor for advice if you are unsure.

The puerperium

The first eight weeks after the birth is called the puerperium. During this time you are still on maternity leave and do not have to go to work or school. You can relax from the birth and gather new strength. The first ten days after the birth you have the right to be accompanied by a midwife, up to twelve weeks after the birth, a further 16 appointments are possible. It is also conceivable to enlist the help of a family midwife. If you are on your own, a domestic help can also help you. To apply for it, you need a doctor's prescription. It is best to contact your gynecologist.

Feel free to seek help from a midwife or domestic help. It is not a weakness if you are initially unsure about how to deal with your child. Older mothers feel the same way.

During the puerperium, your uterus heals and slowly becomes smaller again. Wound fluid and blood are excreted with the so-called weekly flow. When you breastfeed your baby, your body produces hormones that help the uterus to regress and stimulate milk production.

It is important that you handle your body carefully now. For example, be careful not to carry or lift heavy items. Sometimes this is not that easy, because your baby keeps calling you when he is hungry, wants to be swaddled and carried around.

The baby changes

When the baby is finally in your arms, it can make you proud and happy, but it can also make you feel unfamiliar at first. You may be stressed because the child keeps screaming instead of sleeping peacefully after drinking. But you don't have to take crying personally. It doesn't scream because it wants to annoy you! It no longer lies nicely padded in your stomach and is rocked back and forth when you walk, but lies in a bed in a romper suit.

It is no longer supplied with oxygen and food via the umbilical cord, but suddenly has to do a lot on its own: breathe, drink, digest. For the first time in his life his organs start to work independently. And that can cause severe stomach ache.

The transition is so stressful for newborns that the baby sometimes just has to scream. If you pick it up and gently rock it back and forth, it will feel your closeness and hear the familiar heartbeat. Even if they don't stop crying, your child will still feel comforted because they don't feel alone. Many babies calm down more easily when they are carried on the body in a baby carrier.

If you are exhausted (which many mothers do), ask your friend or someone close to you to take regular turns comforting the baby. Then take a few minutes of rest to yourself, preferably in another room.

Important: postnatal gymnastics

Six to eight weeks after the birth, it is time to see your gynecologist for the second examination after the delivery (the first examination usually takes place in the clinic). Take your mother's passport with you.

Postnatal exercise is also important for your body. You can start doing this around eight weeks after the birth. It is best to ask your doctor or midwife about a course. There you will learn different exercises for the pelvic floor, the abdominal and back muscles, which will also bring your figure back into shape. Some mothers have a weak bladder after giving birth, which means that they can no longer control when they have to. Postgraduate exercise helps regain control of the bladder. A postgraduate course usually lasts ten hours and the costs are covered by the health insurance company. You can bring your baby to the class. Your midwife can also show you exercises that you can do at home.

Sex and contraception

It is difficult to predict exactly when you will have your period again. Mothers who breastfeed briefly or not at all often have their periods again after six weeks. You can ovulate 12 to 14 days before your first period, which means you can get pregnant again.

Breastfeeding offers a certain degree of protection against conception only under very specific conditions. If you are not fully breastfeeding, i.e. if you do not breastfeed at least six times a day within 24 hours for a total of at least 80 minutes, if you are feeding during this time and have already had a menstrual period after giving birth (the weekly flow does not count), then breastfeeding does not offer any Contraception.

It is therefore important that you think about contraception as soon as you want to have sex again after giving birth. You can also talk to your doctor or midwife about contraception.

Very many mothers of babies do not feel like having sex at all after the birth, simply because all of their energy flows into mental adjustment and physical regression. Your friend should also know that this is normal. Otherwise he might think your love is only for the baby. You don't have to worry that as a mother you no longer have any sexual needs or that you are no longer an erotic woman. Give yourself time. After all, you did something very special!