Have you decided to get married?
9 signs he won't marry you
You already had the dream in white, didn't you? Probably no woman is immune from this forever, it's somehow part of life. But it has to be "the right one".
Even if you are not one of those women who immediately get wet eyes when it comes to the subject of "weddings", even if you consider all the nonsense like carriage, train and pigeons to be completely overrated - as soon as a relationship becomes a little more serious, you too will at some point ask yourself: Is he the guy to marry? We'll clarify that here.
The problem is: the man proposes
These thoughts are not alien to men either. But they like to keep quiet about it. It is often difficult to tell whether a man is ready to take this step. Unfortunately, the wedding proposal is traditionally a man's business. You can of course ask if he doesn't even want to ask you - but that kind of spoils the romance.
A proposal from the woman is still not welcome either (why actually?). So if he doesn't say anything, this limbo remains until he stirs. Or you help out a little, one way or the other.
What do I do if he doesn't want to marry me?
Ultimately, all that remains is waiting and perhaps a little pushing, an ungrateful role. You cannot be satisfied with that in the long run.
So if he just doesn't ask the crucial question, and you are also otherwise unsure whether he is the right person to marry at all, you should study our checklist. And draw the necessary conclusions.
What are the signs that he doesn't want to marry me?
There is not one decisive signal that he is not going to the altar. Except maybe he says it explicitly. But there are a number of signals and traits that make a marriage between the two of you very unlikely.
Here are 9 pretty sure signs that he's not ready to marry you (yet). One thing alone is not a drama - but if several criteria apply, you should reconsider the relationship in general.
1. He cannot (or does not want to) make important decisions
Men who find it difficult to make decisions about little things in everyday life are also not all that reliable marriage material. If, for example, he often hangs in the air at work or cannot make up his mind where he actually would like to live and is otherwise not necessarily a bundle of decisiveness, then he obviously doesn't really know himself yet.
How is such a man supposed to be able to choose something as stable as marriage? In this situation, it doesn't help to put pressure on him. But you have to ask yourself if his behavior will change - and if you want to wait that long.
2. He doesn't want to get married if he's planning his future without you
Men's dreams like to be big. In 10 years he wants to be the head of a giant company, including a luxury apartment and a sailing boat. Or he raves about emigrating to Brazil, opening a beach bar and surfing all day long.
No matter which dream locks your loved one may build - the question arises: do you appear in them? Is he talking about "we" or just about himself? And when he says "we" - does he care what you think about it? Does he ask you what you think of Brazil and if you also feel like surfing?
Even if his dreams may be absolutely unrealistic - they are often an unmistakable sign of whether he is planning you in his future or whether he would much rather see himself as a lone wolf or possibly with a completely different partner by his side.
3. He doesn't ask about your long-term goals either
A man who plans his life with you is interested in your dreams and ideas. After all, he wants to know whether there is room for him, where there are overlaps, where compromises may have to be made.
Don't get it wrong: He doesn't have to ask for every single detail, but if he shows no interest in your future, he most likely won't see himself there either. You will certainly wait a long time for a marriage proposal from such a man.
4. He cannot deal with conflict
Relationships are hard work and yes, arguments happen. But if you quarrel, does he go completely crazy or first calmly try to explain what is bothering him? Is it about solving the problem, or just getting rid of his anger? Does he confide in you when he's upset or does he shut you out?
Remember: if even the smallest disagreement is enough to spark a huge argument, that doesn't bode well for larger conflicts that deal with much more serious issues than are common in a marriage. And you might not want to be married to someone who makes such an elephant out of every mosquito. (You can read here how you solve typical relationship problems.)
5. He avoids your family
Not every kale meal at your aunt's should be decisive for the war when it comes to whether he is doing enough. But if every visit to your parents or family leads to discussions or arguments, if they actively avoid and avoid these situations, then it becomes difficult.
There is no question that whoever chooses a partner does not have to love their entire family. But there is some truth in the saying that you somehow "marry" the other's family for better or for worse. Ultimately, a wedding is not just a family celebration - it connects two families in a very special way. It turns many people into brother-in-law and brother-in-law. That must at least be conceivable for you as bride and groom.
6. A man does not want to marry if he is afraid of doing business together
You live together, share table and bed, go on vacation together, share your whole life together, but when it comes to paying, does he categorically insist on 50:50? Difficult.
It is certainly true that a relationship (also in financial terms) should ideally be balanced. But what if one of you should lose your job? Would the other person immediately help out without batting an eyelid and step in for his / her partner - even if the money were gone for an uncertain time? This is a question you should seriously ask yourself in a relationship. Whether you would be willing to do this yourself and whether you believe that your partner would act the same way.
An important indicator if you are already doing business together: Does he discuss major purchases with you or does he simply buy the new motorcycle without informing you beforehand? In retrospect, the justification for going it alone is often "Why? It's my money too!" He is right about that, but what if this means that the holiday together can no longer be financed? The fact is that a common future means that financial matters are also discussed together - it doesn't matter who might earn more.
7. He keeps your friends at a distance
Accepting you also means accepting your environment, starting with your family and continuing with your friends. That is not to say that he has to think your best friend is just as great as you or that he has to hold back from criticizing your circle of friends.
However, if the sympathy fails completely and he doesn't even try to get to know your friends better, then you should seriously ask yourself whether he is really the right person for something special. (With these questions you can put him to the test.)
8. He doesn't stand by you in front of his friends
No question about it: no woman should ask her partner to be able to attend his men’s evening. The fact that both partners each have their circle of friends and that certain constellations simply do not "fit" is certainly the most normal thing in the world.
However, if you have the feeling that your friend is deliberately excluding you, constantly giving you the feeling of somehow not belonging, in the worst case maybe even denying you, that not only hurts, but is a pretty sure sign that he is the wrong person is.
9. He often criticizes little things
Doesn't he like you wearing makeup more often? He's not a fan of the fact that you sometimes take time off to hang out with your friends? Or does it bother him that you talk to your sister so often on the phone? Oh dear.
If he continuously expresses his displeasure about small things that you take for granted, then he can certainly not deal with the bigger ones. Save yourself the hassle. You are sure to find someone suitable, or someone who simply suits you and your dreams better. (Read more about when it's time to break up here.)
It is normal for someone to get a little cold feet about getting married. But if you have any of these signsYou might need to reconsider the relationship. First of all, it's not about getting married, but rather the question of whether you can imagine a life for two.
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